The missing part
by MerthurW
Summary: And suddenly Merlin remembered everything. It came all back . He saw it, he saw him. His arm was gone and now he remembered why. It was gone like Arthur. And that means forever. First fanfiction/only Merthur Bromance Warnings: Amputation ( english is not my mother language so there may be mistakes)
1. Chapter 1

Merlin slowly opened his eyes. It took a lot of strength of him, because his hooded eyes

were so heavy.___What happened?__ He couldn't remember._ All he felt was that his whole body

was on fire. It hurt everywhere. Especially his right arm and his chest.___God, his chest._ It

took so much effort to breath properly.

The ceiling of the room was spinning,as he looked up. Merlin thought he had to vomit, but

his stomach told him there was nothing left inside him. He closed his eyes again.___Where _

___was he? Where was Arthur? And the knights?_

Silence. Nothing there was nothing. Merlin reopened his eyes and recognised for the first

time the room. He was lying on his side with his bare back against a wall. On the other

side of the room was a big, wooden door. It seemed to be locked up with at least a dozen

of locks.___So he had been kept locked up in a cell? Alone?__ Panic_ roused in him.___Where _

___were the others? _He glanced around and saw that nothing else was in here. No one else

was in here. He was alone.

Merlin breathed out as a stabbing pain went again trough his body.___ Ow, everything hurt. _

___He wanted to know what had happen to him? To the others?_

It was very dark and as far as Merlin could recognise the cell had no window. He groaned

as he turned his body. He could feel the multiple bruises and cuts which decorated his

body, but the worst pain as he turned himself came from his right arm. ___What was wrong _

___with him? Had he broken the bone of his right arm? Or had someone else broken it, _

___because he couldn't move the limb an inch__. _He tried to lift his head to look up, but he let it

flop back as his chest demonstrated against the pain.

Anger and fear. That was all he felt at the moment. He couldn't work out where he was and

as far as he could tell he was kept alone in a cell. Obviously was he held captive by

someone unknown. _Could anything be more worse? ____Yes, you could be dead, said a voice _

___in his head__. ____It was right as long as he was alive, he could find a way to work things out._

He noticed that his shirt was missing and for the first time since he was awake he felt the

terrible cold, which was creeping through his body_. ____He had to find out what had _

___happened?_ The last thing he could remember was that he and the knights were on a

hunting trip. There was nothing unusual about it.

___Good, at least he could remember something but that was all. There was nothing else._ He

sighed. The throbbing pain in his arm got worse. So with all his strength he manoeuvred

his body to the side. He felt mutilated. Nausea rose when he saw why his arm had hurt

that much. There were bandages around his elbow, a bloody stump were his whole right

arm should be. The big wound was bleeding freely and the bandages were loose. Merlin

wanted to vomit. ___His arm, his whole god damn arm was...gone. No that couldn't be. His _

___arm. Oh my god! _He recognised that the flesh wound was cruelly cauterised, so he would

not bleed to death, but obviously it hadn't helped that much because blood was running

down his arm.

___He was a cripple. His arm, it got amputated , how can he live with that. _He was breathing

now very fast.___What...How...no he cannot believe that! It had to be a dream. Oh my god..._

And suddenly Merlin remembered everything. It came all back . He saw it, he saw him.

His arm was gone and now he remembered why. It was gone like Arthur. And that means forever.


	2. Chapter 2

******Three days before:**

Morgana Pendragon was not a patient woman.

It was already dark as she rode through the woods. Her big black horse snorted as Morgana chased it forward. Today was the day she had waited for such a long time. It were now three years ago ,since she first had heard the name Emrys as she had talked to the Cailleach, the Gatekeeper to the spirit world. The old mystic woman had told her that a man called Emrys would be her destiny and her doom.

First she did not wanted to believe that a simple man could defeat her, the last Hight Pristess, but as Arthur Pendragon her lovely half-brother escaped her every time with so much luck that no one else could have, she was suddenly aware that the mighty Emrys had to live under the nose of her brother. Maybe even Arthur knows that a sorcerer is existing and working under his protection in Camelot. Morgana was furious after all had happened between her and Uther ,Arthur was probably protecting a man who has magic. A socerer!

___Emrys, I will kill you! And if this is the last thing I will do._

She rod further through the woods, as the horse got slower and then stopped completely. Morgana swung her legs over the animal and let herself slide down from the stallion. She turned around to make sure no one had followed her, than she moved forward to a hidden cave where already some men in black cloaks where waiting for her return.

''My lady'', one of them said, as he mad a bow before her. She ignored him and walked into the cave. There was not much light as she came to a big room. In the middle stood a big stone table. Someone was lying on the top of the round table. It was an old man, he had long white hair which were lying over his shoulder and his face was a terrible mess. There were cuts and bruises and his right eye was swollen shut. The man had lost a lot of weight because the long green robe he was wearing was far too big for him. His arms were only skin and bone like his face. Morgana barely recognized the man before her.

''What happened ? Why does he look like that?'', she turned around to look in the eyes of the men who were following her into the room.

''My lady, he would not want to talk, so we had to force him. He may be old but he is strong and he also possess a little bit of magic. He may be physically weak,but his mind is really strong. We could not break into his head, so we wounded him on the outside to make it easier to get to the information you wanted. The pain helped us, to achieve what we wanted.'' He added hastily.

She watched the man who had talked closely, as she turned again back to the old man, who had not made a sound or moved an inch as long as she was standing beneath the table.

''And do we have our information, I longed for so many years?''

Silence. Then a quiet. ''Yes.''

Her eyes got wide. ''Tell me'', she said calm. Again there was silence. Morgana grew impatient.

''TELL ME!, she shouted.

Someone cleared his throat. ''The physician told me that the young servant boy of the king is the man you are searching for.''

___Emrys. _She turned around and stared at the man who had talked to her.

''What is his name? What do they call him?''

''The physician told us he calls the boy Merlin.''

Somewhere far away a horse snorted. Morgana could not understand. ___Merlin? That is not possible. Merlin ….the Merlin she knew, who always destroyed her plans , poisoned her and almost killed her sister Morgause. No...no NOT MERLIN..it cannot be...Him..._

___Emrys, the mighty Emrys was a simple servant boy? It was Merlin. This was ridiculous__._

But it would not matter anymore she would kill him, before he would kill her. She was******his**destiny and ******his**doom, not the other way round and she would make that sure.

She smiled slightly as she looked a last time at the old man on the table. ___My dear old friend Gaius I could not thank you enough for the little secret you shared with me. Now watch your dear sweet Merlin die. I will make sure of that._

With this thought she left the cave. She had a mission to do. Live or die, but the die is already cast. Not only for her ,for Emrys too.

He and his king were surely already searching for Gaius, but she would make them never find the physician.

___I am coming Emrys._


	3. Chapter 3

_**Now:**_

**After Merlin fell in an uneasy sleep,his limbs tossed around like he had an seizure. He had a fever, that was sure. His dreams were dark and full of pain and angst. The only thought that would not leave his mind was that he had lost his arm. His whole right hand, how could something like this happen? Then suddenly he remembered everything. The memory went through his mind like an lightning strike. **

_**Two days before:_**_

Gaius! They were searching for him, after they found the physician chambers empty. Morgana! She was the only explanation for the sudden disappearance of Gaius. Merlin supposed that she knew something about Emrys, and if she could break Gaius everything he worked so hard for ,was destroyed .

_Then he remembered what had happen, Morgana, she knew it. She knew he was Emrys. And he knew she feared him more than everything. They fought. Morgana and Emrys fought._

_Arthur! Oh my god!_ Morgana, she was also there. She had found them, after they rode through the Valley of the fallen kings. She had her men with her. Of course were they mercenaries, men who got paid by the witch to fight for her interests. They fought. The knights, Arthur, Morgana and Merlin. Morgana used magic. First she threw Merlin into a tree and then fought with her sword against Sir Leon. Sir Leon is a very skilled sword man, but everyone knew that Morgana could also handle very well a weapon. As the ward of Uther Pendragon she learned in a very young age to use a sword. She was nearly as skilled as her half brother Arthur, who was known as the best knight in Albion.

Sir Leon could hold her back for a while, but as Morgana began to fight unfair she used her powers to wound the knight. With a yell of pain Sir Leon fell on his knees, he panted against the pain the witch had made. Morgana just grinned at the beaten knight and stepped forward to went straight to Arthur who was defending himself against three mercenaries. Elyan and Gwaine went between her and Arthur. Gwaine said something smart and as an answer, the High Priestess whispered a spell. Suddenly roots were shooting from the ground. It was like the world was trembling. Some of the mercenaries and Camelot knights ,including Arthur were falling to the ground. Morgana laughed. The roots wrapped around the legs of the knights. Then with a flip they were flying through the air. Some of the men were thrown against a tree or were landing far away on the hard ground. Bones were breaking and Camelot's knights were crying out in pain.

Also Elyan and Gwaine were one of them. After Percival and Lancelot had seen what had happen to there mates, they were fighting harder against Morganas men. Meanwhile Merlin was back on his feet's and searching for a weapon. No one had noticed the warlock ,expect for Morgana. The witches eyes were following Merlins movements.

Merlin didn't expect to get attacked by Morgana. Suddenly a lightning arrow stroke beneath Merlin into the ground. One moment everyone thought the earth was shaking. Arthur noticed that Morgana was about to kill his servant. ''MERLIN!'', he cried out while he was fighting against the men. ''LOOK OUT!'' Morgana smirked and raised her hand again, to strike again.

Merlin ducked as a dozen of lightnings rattled through the air. He reacted not fast enough as one of them struck Merlin into his right arm and he sank with a loud thud to the floor. Merlin heard someone crying out loud his name.

Morgana was now a few inches away from Merlins body which was lying on the floor.

''The mighty Emrys, now lying to my feet how must that feel. '' She smirked again.

''How must that feel, to know that everybody you loved will be dead soon, Arthur,the knights, Gwen and Gaius. Yes, especially Gaius he told me everything, of course not willingly but that makes no difference now or does it?'' She continued.

''You will join them soon Merlin or should I say Emrys.''

Merlin could not interrupt her, he could not speak. It had to be the magic lightning which had hit Merlins right arm. The wound was burning like nothing else. Merlins face was scrunched in pain. Morgana had noticed that.

''Your magic may be strong Merlin, but so is mine. The pain you feel is my magic, my poison which is now running through your veins. You will be dead soon. '' She smirked again.

Merlin just could stare into her cold, dead eyes which were full of hatred. There was nothing left of the old Morgana he once loved. The woman who was standing over him was evil and a murderer.

And it was his fault, his fault alone he should have helped her when she needed someone, when she felt alone. Morgause took that place and she planted bad thoughts into Morganas mind. So practically Morgana got manipulated by Morgause, Merlin thought, but that does not change that this was his fault. He was Emrys he could have done something to prevent that.

''I will stand here and watch you die.'' He heard Morgana saying. So dying had to feel like that. It hurt and his wounded arm was burning and he could feel the dark magic pumping through his veins. Morganas magic. It hurt,but it was not that bad like other things he had experienced. For instance the Dorocha attack. It had hurt more awful than this.

He knew the witch was not far away from him, but suddenly he could hear her crying out, like someone had attacked her,but that could not be. The knights and Arthur were wounded probably already dead. Merlins could feel a tear running down his face. _No, they could not be dead. It was just...not bearable for him. He would rather die than would let that happen. You are already dying a _

_voice in his head reminded him. Oh ….right..._

Suddenly a familiar face went into his eyesight. _Arthur..oh my god he was okay. Thank god!_

''Merlin'', he said. ''My god, what had she done with you? Your wounded ! Your arm it is..bleeding..''

Arthur was babbling. Merlin never had heard Arthur babble so much nonsense. He could not feel his right arm any longer . It was like it was dead. Then Merlin noticed all the knights were standing around him. _Oh good, they are all alive. _

They all looked concerned at the servant. Merlin could hear them talking...he only heard the words...arm...stop the bleeding...dying...and amputation...

Then everything went black and the darkness consumed Merlin. He fell.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Two days before:**_

It was dark, very dark, Merlin thought. _Where the hell was he? And the others? _

He could feel the pain has vanished nearly completely. He could feel someone turning him to his side, talking softly in his ear. Strong arms were holding his body and his right arm. Someone scampered around.

_They knights were talking. To him? No way. _They were sounding desperate. One of the knights was sobbing. _Maybe it was Gwaine? _It was impossible that Arthur was crying about him? Or? It means he wasn't dying or was he?

Someone was saying his name. Someone told him not to move and that it would be over soon. He didn't understand. Something was purred around his upper right arm. _A rope?_ Why the hell would they want to stop the blood flow in his arm?

He remembered. _Did they really want to amputate his right arm? His whole arm? Didn't they know people could bleed to death...they can die?_ That would explain the sobbing from one of the men. _He could...would die! NO! Didn't they know that he would be a cripple...ah mutilated outsider...if he would survive._ He could feel hot tears running down his face. _When did he began to cry? It didn't matter they would amputate his arm...and they would destroy his life..there had to be another way, to save his life. _

Arthur talked. He apologized. He could hear him cry.

That was not good. Someone touched his face and another knight took hold of his shoulder. Then for a minute there was a dead silence, then a really cold and sharp thing touched his skin.

Merlin wanted them to stop, to cry out, but he could not. Instead he pressed his eyelids hard closed. Then came the pain, he began to wiggle against the strong hands. He cried out. He could not longer bear the agony. The knife that cut deep in his flesh, muscled, and bone. He fought against the strong hands, which were holding him on the ground. He could hear someone talking nearby, saying to him to hold on a little longer. He could not, he just could not. Pain, pain and more pain. Minute for minute. He cried and cried. It wouldn't stop.

It seemed to last hours.

A wrenching sound echoed and it was over. Darkness welcomed him once more.


	5. Chapter 5

**Two days before: **

_It was now three hours ago...since they ...amput...no he could not think on that again. The sound it made as he cut through the flesh and bone...and finally separating the limb from Merlin's body. The wrenching sound it made as he cut through the last layers of the skin. _A tear escaped Arthur. He sat there beneath the fire and cried. He the mighty king of Camelot now small and vulnerable. A weak moan echoed in the cave. Arthur shot up and in a second he was by his servants side.

''Merlin?''The boy was obviously distressed. A fever raged inside his body for an hour and he has lost a lot of blood, despite Gwaine and he had stopped the blood flow quite quickly. Merlin moaned again, this time it was louder and sounded more painful. Lancelot and Elyan have woken up through the noises the wounded boy made. They came to Arthur's side and knelt beneath their king.

''Has he a fever?'', the dark coloured knight asked. Arthur nodded sharply.

''That is not good'', Lancelot concluded. ''We should bring him back to Camelot.''

''But Camelot is without an physician...I mean Morgana had kidnapped Gaius...even if he is alive...''

''Stop.'' Arthur firmly yelled. ''Don't talk like that Elyan...Gaius is...he has to be alive...''

''Of course Sire...sorry for my stupid thought.''

''It is okay...just do not talk like he is already dead ...what would we do without him...what would Merlin do without him...now that he will not be capable...of doing things on his own..I mean it was his right arm..he is right handed...I...I...''

Arthur lost it. He could not prevent another tear rolling down his face.

''Arthur...he will forgive us...for what we did...we did the right thing...if you would not have done it...he would be dead. Morgana's poison is strong. We saved his life...and one day he will understand. First he maybe will hate us...but you will see...he will cope with this ability well...he is Merlin you know...nothing will change him...and you know there is nothing that will stop Merlin from smiling...and cheering up other people.''

Lancelot sounded so sure, that Arthur would have believed it for a second. Another groan from Merlin brought his thoughts back from the knights calming words. _Yeah Merlin always smiled...in every bizarre moment he has seen Merlin laughing...and making other people happy...like Gwen, even himself, the knights and of course...Gaius. Only the notion on Gaius sent another sharp pain through his already shattered heart. _The physician if he was not dead, killed by Morgana's hand, he would be scared and hurt, waiting for the witch to decide about his fate. Morgana must be furious. Gwaine had stabbed her , short before she could get the chance to kill the servant.

After that she disappeared like the wind. Arthur knew, no normal sword could kill her. If she has not killed Gaius yet, she would held him like a hostage, so someone like he or the knights would come to save him. _Arthur would know it is a trap but what other choice would he have? Condemn the physician to a cruel death under the witches hand? No never! He had to try to save him, but first he had to save Merlin._

The wizard was now shaking really hard from the fever. They had tried to build a big fire but it was too dangerous with Morgana's men out there searching for them, maybe even the witch searching by herself.

_Merlin will die,_ Arthur thought and it is my fault. _Everything was his fault. _Another tear slipped from his eyes.

''Sire?'' The voice...it was Elyans. ''Arthur'', the knight tried again.

Arthur looked up, when did the knight stood up from his side? ''Yeah?'', he said in a rough voice.

''Lancelot and I have a plan. We want to search for Gaius. Lancelot, Percival and I...We...I..'' Elyan got unsure with his words.

Lancelot took over. ''We thought it would be helpful to find him ...not only for Gaius also for Merlin ..he needs him if he wants to overcome this...not only physically also emotional...I mean it will be hard to tell him...that he has lost an arm.'' Arthur starred on Merlin.

''Yeah..it will be...'' He searches for the right words.'' He will need Gaius. He needs him. Like do we.

You have my permission... go, but behave Morgana is strong you have seen it by your own eyes.''

''We will.''

They woke Percival and then packed their few things, Lancelot explained it to his friend what they will do next. The big man just nodded and switched his sight between Merlin and the knight. Arthur just nodded as they walked out of the cave looking back at there sick friend and king for the last time, then they were gone.

Arthur was sitting beneath Merlin on the floor. Sir Leon who recovered on his own, from some small wounds from the fight with Morgana was sleeping beneath Gwaine, who was as exhausted as himself. First the knight did not want to go to rest, but Arthur ordered him to go.

Gwaine said something like , he is not a princess like his king, then he was asleep.

Now Arthur was alone with his thoughts. _Merlin, Gaius, Merlin..Gaius.._..slowly his eyes dropped close. _He could not let himself sleep what was if Merlin needs him_. Arthur tried to keep himself awake. He opened his eyes again and suddenly there was a dark figure standing on the caves entrance.

'' Hello Arthur'', with that words it pulled out a dagger and walked to the king. Arthur was unarmed. His sword and dagger were lying on his blanket. He jumped up but the man was faster. He grabbed him by his arm and through him on the ground and kept him steady with his body on the floor. The dagger pointed to his eyes. ''One sound and I will cut your throat.'' Arthur stopped struggle against the man's grip. ''Good boy, and now you will follow me.''

Arthur got roughly picked up from the ground and then the stranger pushed him outside the cave.

Suddenly there was a lout clang and a small voice said: ''Leave him alone!''

Arthur and the man turned around. ''Merlin!'' Arthur exclaimed.

There he was standing, with only one arm. The wound bleeding freely again. His brow was sweaty from the fever. Merlin stood in the middle of the cave. Behind him Sir Leon and Gwaine. The sound must have woken them. Merlin's legs were shaking that hard, Arthur thought they would collapse under him._ But he was alive, talking...even trying to save Arthur in his condition. _Arthur snorted in amusement._ That was his Merlin! For a moment he has forgotten the previous hours and the amputation of Merlin's arm. Only for a moment. _

The man beside him laughed. ''Oh! Look at you! You can barely stand! What will you do?''

Gwaine pulled out his sword from his belt and said:'' Let our king go!''

''Or what?'' , the stranger said.

''We will kill you'', Sir Leon said, who also was shaking on his legs. Morgana had gotten him really hard.

The man beneath Arthur laughed. ''Thats not funny!' Merlin said.

''Oh yes it is...a servant and a knight who can barely stand are threatening me. And you.'' He turned to Gwaine. ''Whats this? A sword?'' He laughed again.

Gwaine grolled and stormed forward. The man stopped laughing said something in a strange language . Arthur only saw the man's eyes flashed gold and then the knight was flying through the air, his body cracking against the caves wall. Gwaine was unconscious.

Merlin growled . He stretched his arm out and opened his mouth.

''DON'T YOU DARE!'', the man yelled, then his eyes glowed again gold and suddenly Merlin and Leon were sinking to the ground. Arthur yelled. ''NOOOOO!''

He fought against the arms, but the were to strong. The stranger pulled him out of the cave in the darkness. The last thing he saw was that Arthur saw Merlin open his eyes a bit and forming some words with his mouth.

**''I promise you that I will find you Arthur!'' **Arthur heard the words in his head loud and clearly, but he could have sworn Merlin had not said them just tried to form some words with his mouth and besides Arthur could not have heard them because he was too far away from Merlin, but it does not matter. Arthur had heard them and he kept repeated them over and over again in his head.

**''I promise you that I will find you Arthur!' **

_He just wanted to believe everything would be okay. Merlin, Gaius, the knights..._

He just wanted to believe Merlin words, so he kept repeating them , as the unknown man pulled him far away from the cave.

**''I promise you that I will find you Arthur!' **


End file.
